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Your Car Will Feel My Vengeance: Weird Crime 2012
Dollars and nonsense • Mom's car is your car • This fist through your car window in the nudie bar parking lot is me showing how much I care ... Weird Crime in the Southland 2012.
Weird Crime Of The Southland 2012
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Wednesday, December 26, 2012
Friday, December 21, 2012
Women Behind the Wheel: Weird Crime 2012
Sliders and muscle relaxant don't mix • That's really hidden below the belt, young lady • And this guy swings a mean, mean bat ... Weird Crime of the Southland 2012.
Strange-but-true stories from the Patch files of bizarre and ridiculous antics perpetrated by your fellow south suburbanites the past year. Auditioning for the Next 'Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle'? A Mokena woman who drifted over the center line, jumped the curb and almost hit a telephone pole just before midnight on Sept. 12, told cops she was driving home from White Castle. She had a half-eaten slider in her hand that she continued to munch on despite the officer's repeated requests to drop the burger. After cops towed her car — and the White Castle burgers still inside — she refused to talk to the cops. She was accused of driving under the influence of painkillers, muscle relaxants and Ritalin. On Mokena Patch This One Wasn't …
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You'll Never Find Another Love Like Mine: Weird Crime 2012
Nothing says "I love you" like dragging you under my car • Afternoon delight ends with Miranda Rights • I Just Called 83 Times to Say I Love You, Or Else ... Weird Crime of the Southland 2012.
Precious and few are the moments we two can share, sang the band Climax, but the following precious moments from the Patch files are more crazy, stupid love. Or just plain crazy and stupid. Just a Hunka-Hunka Burning Love: A 23-year-old Tinley Park mom is spending Christmas in jail, accused of running her boyfriend over with a car and dragging him through the street on Dec. 14, leaving him with injuries so severe doctors needed to surgically repair his burnt scrotum. The 21-year-old man was walking to the home of his girlfriend, Christine A. Meyers, after drinking at JW Hollstein's on Oak Park Avenue. As he crossed 175th Street, a car sped through a stop sign and struck him, police said. His legs were caught under the car and he was …
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Your Car Will Feel My Vengeance: Weird Crime 2012
Dollars and nonsense • Mom's car is your car • This fist through your car window in the nudie bar parking lot is me showing how much I care ... Weird Crime in the Southland 2012.
We don't take criticism very well, have a few trust issues and have difficulty expressing our feelings in a constructive manner in these reports from the Patch files. But why must the cars always suffer? You Can't Put a Price on Love: A 19-year-old Chicago Heights woman, displeased with her 20-year-old boyfriend's money management skills, came home in October to find her clothes shredded and several of her electronic devices broken. The boyfriend left, but not before all four tires of the woman's car were flattened. Apparently, anger management is another underdeveloped skill. On Chicago Heights Patch Baby, You Can Drive My Car: In October, a 27-year-old Chicago Heights woman lent her mom's car to her 39-year-old boyfriend in October, who …
If It Feels Good, Do It: Weird Crime 2012
No permit for freaky deaky at local swingers club • This old man, he played knick knack in the pool • Girls Gone Wild: Tinley Park ... Weird Crime of the Southland 2012.
When you let your freak flag fly, be forewarned of these lessons from the Patch files: Don't shove your flag in someone else's face. It's possible someone will dislike the joy you take in life. And the man will shut you down if you don't have a permit for your freaky deaky. What, Don't You Have a Dungeon Room? The businessman who once owned The Colosseum night club in Mokena saw the sex club he ran in rural Will County shut down this spring. Police found a dungeon room, sex swings and an orgy room in a cabin-style home in Beecher called "Club Erotica." Its motto was "If it feels good, do it." Orgies, replete with laser-light shows and taxidermied animals, took place there until Will County authorities shut it down for lack of proper …
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forget me
1:36 am on Monday, December 31, 2012
What an insult to our veterans. Like they were hanging out inpools naked ' more ›
Dumb, Dumber and Dumberer: Weird Crime 2012
Can you see me now? • If you're going to commit a crime, give the cops a hand by posting your crimes on YouTube • Wet-laundry smackdown ... Weird Crime of the Southland 2012.
People do stupid things. And sometimes those stupid things lead to felony charges, as was the case with these incidents from the Patch files. Ferris Bueller's Evil Twin? A 20-year-old man arrested in the New Lenox Village Commons in August and cited for underage drinking was stopped again later in the evening after an officer spotted him walking in the middle of the street. The cop rolled down his window and told Jerome Dudko to get on the sidewalk, but Dudko decided to grab the officer's eyeglasses, scream profanities and run away. Police said Dudko scratched the officer's eyes, which required treatment at the hospital. Other officers arrived at Dudko's house and took the young man, kicking and screaming, into custody. The officer's …
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Bob Laird
6:01 pm on Sunday, December 30, 2012
I know how it's spelled in the dictionary, but if you ever watched the stooges, Curley pronounced it NYUK. I prefer NYUK. Leave me alone. more ›
Workplace Hazards: Weird Crime 2012
Double-fisted spooning doesn't cut it • Big breakfast surprise at McDonald's • What, doesn't everyone doodle at work? ... Weird Crime of the Southland 2012.
Woman Brings Spoons to a Knife Fight: A woman cutting pork chops in the meat department in September at Sam's Club in Tinley Park was confronted by another woman wielding a pair of large spoons. Daniela Griffin, 24, said she was so afraid of being hit by a spoon she raised her hands and "accidentally" cut the other woman's nose with her pork-chop knife. Police charged Griffin with reckless conduct. On Tinley Park Patch A Sharp Start to the Morning: A McDonald's customer in Oak Forest returned home with a Big Breakfast and she got a big surprise, discovering a razor blade beneath her scrambled eggs in April. The woman notified police, who said the manager of the restaurant told police razors are used to "clean tight corners" on their …
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Mrs 406
8:02 pm on Monday, December 31, 2012
Ok, the last one... The stuck figure freak show... What business is that... Don't apply there! more ›
These Could be Scenes from the Movie 'Clerks': Weird Crime 2012
Monster energy for an extended pill-popping workout? • You can't smoke 'em if you don't got 'em • Oil me up and rub me down or death will take you ... Weird Crime of the Southland 2012.
Weird stuff happens on the job sometimes. Maybe He Had a Big Night Planned: Is that a Monster energy drink in your pocket, Seamus, or are you just happy to see me? A store clerk in Oak Forest told police he caught Seamus P. Scanlan, 21, leaving the store with two Monster energy drinks in his pants — and four packages of Extenze penis enlargement pills — on Jan. 7. Scanlan was charged with retail theft. On Oak Forest Patch Swisher Unsweets: "Given the choice between a woman and a cigar, I will always choose the cigar," said Groucho Marx. And so it's entirely justified that a man would fly into an inconsolable rage upon learning that a Mobil gas station in Chicago Heights was out of his favorite cigar. So distraught was he, the man attacked…
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Bob Laird
4:41 pm on Thursday, December 27, 2012
Love the one about the guy attacking the candy rack. Reminded me of a guy that beat up a potted plant in a bar years ago because he was asked to leave. more ›
Tom
3:29 am on Wednesday, December 26, 2012
Dennis, both of you are correct. Climax was The Climax Blues Band and before that name change it was Climax Chicago Blues Band. more ›